I was expecting to be told I needed surgery, but was assuming it would be keyhole decompression, to release the pressure off my spinal cord. I wasn’t prepared to be told, I was having a metal cage in my back to stabilise my spine, through a 6″ cut and a 3-4 hour surgery.
I’ve been in horrific pain for the last few months, the most sleep I get at any one time is 1.5 hours, I was begging and pleading the gp’s, pain clinic, MSKAP team to do another MRI for 9 months as my pain was has been life changing, I’ve got no strength left in my legs anymore and I’m virtually housebound.
At my last appointment I asked through tears and barely being able to hold my head up “how bad are you going to let me get” she looked at my and said, that due to all the chronic health conditions I also have, they would expect me to be this ill 🤒
That appointment nearly broke me, I collapsed with exhaustion before I’d reached the reception desk and sobbed harder than ever before. But there was still no help offered to me.
It’s been a heartbreaking road to travel over the last 2 years, but at last I finally have “hope” of a better future.
I approached last weeks Mixed Media texture course in a different mindset, I was counting down the days to my appt with the surgeon, feeling incredibly stressed and unable to switch off.
Here’s what I created last week…
Usually, I can very easily get lost in what I’m creating and see where my imagination takes me. But when he asked us to create a “series of pieces” I was like oh crap, I have to put a different thought process into this one..
Pleasantly surprised how I got on, by focusing on the process of knowing how something was going to look as opposed to having no idea how it would end up looking, was exactly the therapy I needed to distract me from the looming appt.
Below is step by step of how I created these mixed media pieces
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